I initially saw the picture of this woman's husband, naked, and sitting in the shower. I had to double take to really understand why there was a naked man in my feed, and then figure out who posted this. The post was shared from The Father's Rights Movement. An amazing cause that is here to help fathers get rights to their children. They are helping change the courts view of fathers during custody battles.
Which brought me to reading this woman's post. It made my stomach churn. Her husband is not the only man who has cried and felt completely broken or defeated by the Superior Court system. I have watched my husband struggle with blood, sweat, and tears throughout this now 4 year long battle.
This is my Husband. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. They say innocent until proven guilty. They say it will be ok. They say don't give up, things will get better. They say trust us we will protect you and defend you. They say you have done nothing wrong and we'll make sure you name will be cleared...
But yet here we are. A wife who has no idea what to do or to say, who has to watch this happen, who has to watch him suffer and sit in the shower like this day in and day out.
For those of you who don't know my husband has been fighting for 14months just to see his daughter. This past 14months have been some of the worst in my husband's and my life. it has honestly been one shit fight after another. Facts and truths clouded by lies and misjudgments. By false allegations and any other bullshit the "concerned" mother of his child saw fit to use against him. All of this is to make him suffer. "Why would she want to do this?" You ask.. because she is jealous. Because she wanted he to go back to her. She wanted to be able to continue to milk everything she possibly could from him including money, accommodation, transport, children, ect. But NO. He moved on and is happy, so she got nasty.
This is where I can relate. My husband's ex is very jealous. I don't want to act like I am the greatest thing since sliced bread, but I am everything she wish she was. Yes, I am married to an amazing man. One who wouldn't tolerate her verbal abuse any longer so he left her. She is so bitter, ugly, and nasty, that she drags us to court over petty crap. Crap that can and SHOULD be resolved between parents to have effective co-parenting relationships. She refuses because she wants him to pay, she wants my husband to pay for her "hurt". The "hurt" she inflicted on herself.
WHY IS THIS OK? Why is it ok that this gentle giant now has to suffer until his child is old enough to make her own decisions and judgments? Why is it ok for his entire past, present and future to be dragged through this for no actual reason than to try and use his insecurities and difficult family against him? Why is it ok for him to have to pay $$$$$$ for lawyers, fees, expert reports, independent supervisors ect but she receives everything through aid? Why is it ok for him to have NO say in his own child's life? Why is it ok for him not to be allowed to be alone with his child? Why is it ok he can't seek any counseling, medical treatment or any other sort of service to help him and us without the fear of it being used against him?
In our case, my husband has residential time with his children. He has decision making ability, yet the mother does not consult with him prior to decisions being made. She likes to really live up the "single mother" motto. Except, she is not a single mother. She is a single woman. Those kids have their father, yet are being alienated by her own selfishness. They have been convinced to hate their step-mother.
We have paid a ridiculous amount in attorney's fees. We struggle to provide food for the children we have in common due to his obnoxious support amount and attorney's fees. She gets offended when we say we are struggling, because she is so money hungry she cannot see the damage her greed is causing. It has caused my husband to seek less time with his children to help lower the conflict and to allow him the time he needs to pick up overtime shifts to help provide for our household and of course support her and her children.
I wouldn't be surprised if his ex was on state assistance. She has committed fraud multiple times. If it comes to having money in her pocket, this woman will go to great lengths to accomplish this.
What's so so sad about my husband's ex, is that she cannot perceve her actions as being detrimental to anyone. She truely believes she is a gift from the man upstairs. Money is also not the key to anything. She can take every cent we have. She can push us into foreclosure, but she will not break us! She will not cause us to divorce. What she has done, and I am very thankful for, is that she has taught me that being with the ones you love is 10x more important than monetary things. I have learned to be strong. I have learned to be a better wife and mother. So I actually thank her.
Seriously (excuse the language) but WHAT THE [REMOVED]?!!!.
It's bad enough that his parents showed their true colours last year and told him to [removed] off because he didn't fit in their perfect little box (and neither should he have to I might add) but now he may have lost his daughter.
My husband's family and my family just don't understand. I'll leave it at that. No one really understands unless they have experienced it.
This just proved that no matter how hard you fight, how hard you cry, how honest you are, how much money you have and how much you love your children, there will always be someone ready to take it all away from you just because they can.
He is not a criminal. He has no previous history of anything violent or abuse related. He is not hiding anything besides his years because I know he is trying to be strong. How much more of our life can they tear apart, examine and take away before they realize we aren't monsters. We aren't bad people and we sure as hell aren't criminals.
But that's ok because the system, lawyers and others seems to believe that even after all investigations have been completed and they have exhausted all other options for trying to pin him for something he didn't do, they can make their own rules and still use the allegations against him because the mother has "concerns".
Not one person at that meeting yesterday asked us how we were feeling. Not one person asked us how this was affecting us or gave us any sort of support. Not one person stood up for us or defended us. Not even out own representative. I don't know why but that's exactly what happened.
My husband and I are not criminals either. We are very good people. We volunteer, we are college graduates, and we continue to strive for greatness. But for some crazy reason the courts look down on us and up at her. They place mothers on this pedastool, and quite frankly I am sick of it. I am personally sick of the lies and accusations of abuse. I am tired of his ex constantly trying to push herself into our household.
The rest of her post is referenced as images.
All in all, these evil women are lurking everywhere. I feel sorry for every child who has to be raised by a mother such as these ones. I do know that one day my husband's children will see the truth. We do not have to say the truth at all. The children will be able to see the truth in our actions, refusal to speak negative words about their mother in front of them, and refusal to have adult conversations with them. We also do not lie or make up stories.
One thing their mother has not realized yet is that everything she files with the courts is public record. The children will have the ability to download every document. They will become adults. They will have the ability to make their own decisions regarding their father and stepmother.
Everyone who is going through a similar story, love your husband. Be his support. If you feel lost and defeated, don't. Just know, you are not alone!!! Don't give up! You are worth something! Do not, for any reason, let the negativity affect you. Look and seek out the positives in life. Smile and cherish every moment you are alive!
REMINDER: Your child is watching YOU! Set the example of what happiness looks like in the face of adversity!
TO MY HUSBAND: You are worth it and I love you!
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